I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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