Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
