I think my vagina is haunted
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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