did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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