even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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