Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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