opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
