Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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