I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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