You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
