Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
