Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize