the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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