On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
