it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
