when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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