she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
