If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
