let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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