he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
