From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
don't judge my taste in strippers
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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