oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
