My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize