So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize