i barfeds in our rink
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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