yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
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you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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