so that wasnt chicken after all
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i think my cat just said my name.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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