So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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