just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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