If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sext me about skeletons
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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