It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
