You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
