I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
