is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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