He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
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She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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