were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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