I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
