I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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