ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just had sex bonerless
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
