Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize