i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
