areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
