Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
