i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
