just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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