i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
