I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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