I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize