I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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