just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My ass is underappreciated
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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