the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
