You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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